Moving House in Korea

One heartwarming general rule of thumb is that most kids will someday grow old enough to look after themselves. In the meantime, sleepless nights endured and food throwing events inflicted ensure that all parents pay the price for daring to persevere. But cutting through the relentless barrages of baby bombardment exists an arcane instinct continuing to power the minimal energy requirements needed for a civilised amount of patience.

Hence the continuation of the human race. 

Every once in a while, Baengy learns a new trick. Some are taught, while others seem to materialise from thin air overnight. Not more than a few moons ago, we discovered her feeding herself.

We watched, astounded. While she just gave us a look that said "Yes?"

The intellectual development of human babies is driven by endless short-lived curiousity in all things forbidden. Then again, I guess it's easy to see why a champagne bottle might be more enticing than her regular barley water. Holding Baengy in this photo is Jinkang, who is also expecting.

The word expecting is rather nice. Although if indeed the Korean Farrands find it pertinent to produce further offspring, we will dispense with the word 'expecting' and instead focus on 'physically and mentally preparing'.

But babies do have their rewards. Mostly it's to do with wearing hats.

Baengy's favourite book is called Pizza Tiger.

Synopsis: An anthropomorphised child tiger extends warm invitations to his compatriots Eudyptes chrysocome (penguin), Ursus arctos (bear) and Giraffa camelopardalis (giraffe) to eat pizza. Much to their dismay, household ingredients are insufficient. Together with mother tiger, the four animals (who would normally not be in such friendly association in the wild) go shopping for ingredients. Due to differences in opinion as to what deliciousness entails, they choose strawberries, fish and the inexplicable Korean guk-soo (noodle soup) as ingredients. The story ends with mother tiger executing a culinary improbability by producing a pizza that all animals enjoy.

When I read it to Baengy, I enjoy pointing out the inaccuracies.

Earlier this year, we were offered accommodation in the Seoul National University family apartments. It's much cheaper and closer to the lab, but not quite as nice as our old place and not big enough for three adults. We had to part ways with Jang-Ho, Heather's brother, with whom we had been living. He now has a new place not far from us, and word on the street is that he has a new girlfriend.

The tabloids are going nuts.

For every itch that arises in Korea, there are numerous companies who specialise in scratching. Most can be found online, and these days for companies like removalists there's a peculiar reverse-auction method available. As a customer, you can post online what your needs are (expected moving date, address, amount of furniture etc), and different companies will ring you and offer their lowest bid. A few removalist company reps visited us in the days before the big move. One of them was a 60 year old guy who told us that he had been moving furniture in our area for over 30 years.

Then along came a younger representative from a different company who told us that he moves furniture faster and cheaper than the old guy we had just met.

In the end, the company we chose sent three men and a lady to our house. The price was W700,000, but we didn't have to pack up anything. All the clothes were still in our wardrobes, blankets on the beds and utensils in the kitchen cupboards. You can pay a cheaper price and do all the packing yourself, but we wanted to take it easy. Two of the men set to work piling our stuff into large blue boxes, while the lady went to our kitchen and started recording how everything was stored.

I think the third guy's job was to stand outside, smoke cigarettes and make sure nothing went wrong.

Because most Koreans live in apartments and because most apartments have small doors, nearly all furniture extraction on the peninsula occurs by means of skycrane.

The move went fairly smoothly, with the removalists even making our beds and hanging our pictures on the walls. They had drawn plans of where everything was stored in our old place and unpacked it all as accurately as they could.

Meanwhile, Baengy played some tunes on her baby piano to help us settle in.

Our friends from Adelaide, Damien and Susan, left for Australia around the same time we moved house. Whenever longtime expats head home, it's a great opportunity for a virtual garage sale. We picked up quite a few things, including their car, which runs on pure enthusiasm rather than gasoline.

We've named her Sunny the Sonata.

Prior to moving, we were a bit concerned about how our little offspring would fit into a change of abode. Babies will cry when they're bored and cry when they're overstimulated. Baengy just spent the night sitting quietly and staring at the new surroundings.

But early in the morning, she was up and happily chewing on her favourite gangnaengy rice puffs like nothing had happened. She's either a very flexible character, or somewhat forgetful. We like to think it's the former.

For those moving house in Korea, we recommend saving yourself the hassle of packing and unpacking. Pay a little more and all you have to do is stand around and watch. You can find the removalist auction services by searching on Naver for the term 이사경매.

Happy moving!

Product Review: Boba Carrier 3G

"Give me a place to stand and I will sling the Earth"

- Archimedes, perhaps.

It's not often that the Product Review Bell tolls ominously down the hallowed hallways and into the sprawling offices of LeesKoreaBlog.

*Donnnng!* *Donnnng!* *Donnnng!*

But indeed it does, from time to time. At which point some kind of product review usually occurs.

This story starts in the early spring of 2012. Outside, bouncy Korean sparrows chirp cheerfully in the warmer air. Sunlight twinkles through dewdrops on newly budding leaves awakening from winter slumber.

And long after morning nappies have been changed, a solitary baby sits in quiet contemplation.

We shall call her Big Baengy.

"Hello, what's this?"

As if by some miracle of postal express, a strange device Designed in California appears by her side. 

Upon touching the plastic buckles and closely woven fabric, it expands gracefully to reveal its true Function.

It is a harness that can be used to ride Mother.

Much like how one can ride a Banshee, if harbouring appropriate courage.

Courageous banshee pilot, with appropriate safety headgear. Note the facial expression of confident exhilaration.

A sling is a device for carrying that which would normally be carried by arm and hand. This frees them for other important activities, like resting or administering gentle reassuring pats to a baby's bottom.

But our newest device is no ordinary sling. It's the Boba Carrier 3G.

The G's, I assume, stand for Gentle Gentrification (of the) Gwanak (area).

The Carrier is a comfortable and customisable carrier of cids (kids). We previously owned a sling whose brand shall remain nameless. Suffice to say, this one is better. 

The Norwegians have a saying: Bad is called good when worse happens. And so in the case of slings encountered by the Korean Farrands, I guess we could say: Acceptable becomes undesirable when super-duperness appears.

Why so much fuss over a simple sling, you inquire?

For those happily unacquainted with Baby-Related Backpain, Newborn-Associated Nausea or Infant-Induced Insomnia, anything that eases the predicaments of parenthood is worth its weight in gold. 

The Boba Carrier is thoughtfully designed and surprisingly comfortable. It's kind of like a Ferrari, I imagine, except affordable. The padding is in the right places and it fits the wearer snugly like a good shoe. And the clips all clip like clips should clip. That is, with smooth and easy action, yet reassuring sturdiness.

And the design is good. There are other styles available from the same company, but the main strap on ours can be flipped over to hold newborns. That means only one sling is needed per unit offspring.

If you've seen a sling or two before, well the Boba has two hidden pockets in the front, a handbag clip on the side, the dangly bits all tidy up nicely and the secondary clip on the upper back slides far enough to be opened and closed without dislocation of a shoulder.

If James Bond needed a sling, I'm pretty sure he'd use one of these.

Most importantly, this sling distributes more weight to the hips and less to the shoulders.

Which means that happy parents and gleeful babies can venture further on foot to more exciting destinations.

The other day we went slinging out in good old Nakseongdae Park. I couldn't help but wonder about the extra victories possible if General Gang Gamchan's horse had worn a Boba Carrier instead of a regular saddle.

Einstein once postulated that a chair, a table, a bowl of fruit and a violin was all that one needed to be happy. My recommendation would be: a lovely wife, a lovely baby, a lovely sling and a lovely park.

If you have a baby or know someone with a baby, have thought of having a baby or know someone who is thinking of having a baby, then buy a Boba. They ship fast and have excellent customer service.

The best place to get them is via their website: http://www.bobafamily.com/

Happy slinging!

Motile Forces

Do you remember the day they reclassified Pluto as a dwarf planet? I guess the consortium of star-gazing scientists responsible had good reason to do so. But for those in the general public, it was almost as if our feathers of general knowledge had been abruptly ruffled.

As well as wreaking havoc on our cosy relationship with the solar system, it also muddled up a few other things. There used to be a handy meme by which we could recall the names of our solar system neighbours: Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto - which was: My Very Excellent Martian Just Showed Us Nine Planets.

But now it just stops at 'Nine'.

Real planets are now regarded as only those bodies that orbit a star and are massive enough to clear their neighbourhood of other circulating bits and pieces. In other words, they are planet-like, but not quite big enough to be planets just yet.

So if the International Astronomical Union can reclassify something according to those rigourous standards, perhaps we can too.

My proposal is that we reclassify human babies as dwarf people. Babies are similar to people in many aspects, but are not quite big enough to understand the bits and pieces that circulate in their immediate neighbourhood. And sometimes not even aware. During the cold winter months, we've been applying these muffs to the ears of our very own household Dwarf Person.

And by reading her body language, it often appears that she's completely oblivious to their presence.

Baengy will often sit, as snug as a bug in a sling, while we cart her around shopping centres and markets. At the time the photo above was taken, she was uncharacteristically quiet, although the later bulge in her nappy indicated that a Category 4 poop was in the mix.

Dwarf people, it seems, have well-mastered the art of stealthy pooping.

Due to various commitments, I've had to cut back on doing some things I used to enjoy, including Toastmasters. In the photo above, Gilles was predicting a future conversation that will occur between our daughter and another Toastmaster baby, Sejong Cahoon.

Baengy is developing well in every aspect, except that her hair is coming out in much the same style as my PhD. Kind of slowly.

Nevertheless we're encouraging it as 'good progress'.
 

Heather takes her to special daycare classes these days, in a room filled with a noisy abundance of Korean progeny. The conglomerated clutter of infantile exploration and prudent motherly oversight combines into a bubbly scene of choreographed pandemonium.

Like all mammals, Baengy feels most at home when grazing on coloured balls in the company of her own kind. In such circumstances it can be easy to lose track of her in the colourful mileu.

After all, she's got a round head, is kind of bald and wears cute baby clothes...

When a baby enters your life, a number of noticeable changes occur in quick succession. One of the first is that you become less able to visit bars and drink with friends. You instead find yourself hanging out more with other new families. At these coveted events, mothers will exchange information on baby food recipes, feeding habits and pooping schedules.

Fathers, in lower tones, will mostly share advice on domestic survival.

We've named Baengy's favourite item of clothing The Mongol Vest. We're thinking of embroidering the name Ghenghis Bhaeng on the back.

Then all she'll need is a motortricycle. 

I tend to wake up in a similar position to how I fall asleep, while Heather and Baengy apparently share a gene that sees them wake up in all sorts of amusing contortions. Sometimes Baengy wakes up on the opposite end of the bed, and sometimes on the floor. The photo above is how I found her during one of her daytime naps, which usually last for around 45 minutes.

At the time, she may have been dreaming about a certain platform hero.

Baengy developed limited motility a couple of months ago. The first movements were fairly reptillian in aesthetic terms, mainly consisting of her swatting the floor with her palms and pulling herself around on her stomach.

Within a few days, it progressed into something reminiscent of a wounded soldier, still awkward but appreciably more human.

Strangely enough, her first movements occurred when we weren't watching. At first we wondered how she was flipping herself over on her stomach. With baby limbs, this can be more difficult than it sounds.

We discovered that she was employing the principle of angular momentum.

Then there were a few false starts. It was as if she knew what she wanted to do, but was yet to figure out the coordination necessary.

After that, we had a short period where she was crawling around, but only if we weren't watching. Whenever she started crawling, we would sit and stare, causing her to just sit and stare back at us. Eventually we found that she could be coaxed into moving with a dried blueberry.

One of our most useful items has been this babywalker, which has served as a handy place to put her when dishes need to be washed. The table keeps most things out of grabbing distance, which is important because that which can be grabbed can also be chewed.

It has also taught her a lot about basic movement, including the idea that walls generally cannot be traveled through.

She has since picked up a fair bit of speed and now responds to her name, or any name for that matter, if spoken in a tone that is sufficiently enticing. Her new skills and heightening awareness ensure that she's an attention magnet, pretty much anywhere we bring her. And that's good news for us.

All in all, I would have to say that dwarf people are fairly high maintenance, but well worth the effort.

Meeting the Mayor of Seoul: Courtesy of TNM Media

A good way to get in the firing line of serendipity is to seek out groups of people with whom one enjoyably chills. For me, those groups have been Toastmasters (a public speaking club) and Nanoomi, a conglomeration of independent yet mutually supportive bloggers. Nanoomi's parent is TNM Media, a company based in Seoul with an online media focus.

Last Friday some of our members were invited to have a Q&A session with the mayor of Seoul, Park Won Soon.

While on my wonderful way to meet the merry mayor, I soon realised that my meagre understanding of Korean politics left a little to be desired. 

Waves of insecurity ensued. Would I fit in with the politically-knowledgeable? Was I under-dressed? Was I indeed meeting the Seoul Mayor, or perhaps going to an equine farm to meet the Sole Mare?

Not to be swayed, I clutched my hastily translated question and decided I would employ that sage advice, to take things as they come and see what happens.

The very fact that we, as bloggers, were invited to have a chat with him was notable in itself. The mayors of Korea's largest city are very big fish, not least for their propensity to later win presidential elections.

Being a 'blogger' is a fairly broad description, and although some bloggers are thoughtful opinion leaders, you also have guys like me who just sit around and post photos of Big Baengy. So even before arrival, I was grateful for the opportunity to take part.

Arriving late for a meeting with the mayor will surely earn you a negative score on the Awesome scale. And while definitely not a habit of mine, I managed to rack up some overtime on the scenic journey to City Hall. In our unwritten rulebook, that is very unbecoming of a Nanoomite.

The meeting had already started when I arrived and Cynthia, our fearless leader, was waiting just inside the door, whereupon she signified her discontent with a tiny look of silent Doom. It was then time for me to go into damage control mode, and after calming the slight panic in my neurons with a mental clap, I sat on a chair and focused solely on maintaining an attentive facial expression.

My first impressions are only correct about 50% of the time, but my first impression of Park Won Soon was that he seemed nice. My Korean vocabulary is on par with that of a kindergarten kid, but my accompanying grammar skills are more around the monkey level. So although I couldn't understand a lot of what the good mayor was saying, his body language did speak well and it wasn't long before elements of charisma began to emanate. He listened patiently, took notes when necessary and answered thoughtfully.

We, the people, were soon allowed a free for all, better known in Starcraft circles as an FFA. Or, to be more precise a Q&A FFA.

Thus I had a dilemma. Do I raise my shaky hand and read my translated Korean question to the mayor, and risk the possibility of looking like a complete imbecile in the wrong classroom? 

In vain hope that fortune may indeed favour the bold, my answer, was yes.

My question, which I read in Korean, was as follows:

"It can be difficult for potential mothers to choose between starting a family or keeping a stable job. Does the mayor have any plans to make it easier for new mothers to re-enter the workforce?"

"아직도 기혼 여성들이 아이를 가지는 것과 직장에 계속 다니는 것 중 둘 중 하나를 선택하는 것에 큰 어려움을 느끼고 있습니다 (일부 대기업이나 공무원이 아닌 경우) 시장님은 이러한 여성들이 다시 직장에 복귀할 수 있도록 하는 어떤 정책이 있나요?"

My pronunciation was off, clarity poor and delivery odd, but after some initial confusion about whether it was 'new mothers' or 'divorcees' that I was referring to, my question was answered a little something like this:

"보육의 사회적 부담이 중요하다고 생각한다. 출산율 높이기 위해서 많은 지자체가 돈을 주는데 돈을 준다고 아이를 낳겠습니까? ‘서울시 보육정책이 엉터리인 이유가 애를 키워보지 않은 4~50대 남자들이 정책을 만들어서 그런 거 아니냐’ 라는 칼럼을 본 적이 있다. 그래서 정말 여성들의 입장에서 와 닿는 보육 정책을 펴야 한다고 생각한다. 집에서 가까운 곳에 보육 시설을 확장하는 게 가장 좋은 방법이다.  보육은 개인의 문제가 아니라 사회가 책임져야 한다고 생각하고 중요한 정책으로 계속 해나가겠다."

For those who are interested, the video is here (1:14:30.)

Luckily, Cynthia provided translation, saving me the effort of pretending I understood everything. Basically the mayor's opinion is that child-raising is the collective responsibility of society as a whole.

I thought he gave a good answer.

Widhi also asked a question, as did QiRanger Steve via a newly met connoisseur of the Korean language, Andy from Kojects. In the photo above, our ever-pleasant Cynthia is whispering translations to QiRanger Steve, like a voice in the king's ear.

Either that or she was talking about her fabulous new haircut.

After the question session had ended, the mayor extended his hospitality and let us see his office. Bloggers like taking photos, and there we were, shamelessly snapping macro shots of his coffee cup, his favourite ballpoint pens and his functional food tablets (Propolis, to be exact). That was until one of his aides mentioned that the FFA had ended, and we were now documenting his personal space. 

Sheepishly, the barrage of shutter clicks diminished to a dull roar, with the bloggers then shooting from more respectable distances.

Apparently a few of our fellow Seoulites have created a new genre of art called ParkWonSoonism. It consists of various manipulations of the mayor's appearance, and he has a few examples on his office walls.

Now I'm not sure what the correct procedure is when receiving pictures of yourself. I guess displaying pictures of yourself in your own office is a little funny. But then again, hiding pictures of yourself is even stranger.

It's one of those rare catch-22 situations in the world of mayors.

Displayed on his wall are Post-Its, from the citizens of Seoul. Some of them are suggestions, others expressions of support. Mayor Park is quite proud of this display, and I have no doubt that he's read them all. If I were to write one, it would go like this "시장님, 궁금합니다.... 혹시오세훈처럼아리수 (수돗물)를 좋아하십니까?"

It's a question related to my interest in Arisu.

Then it was time for a photo session. In the photo above, there are various Nanoomi folk and a TNM guy thrown in for good measure.

This particular photo is going straight to the pool room. The coolest thing about meeting the Mayor of Seoul is then being able to tell others that you have met the Mayor of Seoul. I have found that indirectly mentioning it is usually more fun.

"Yeah I missed that episode of 선덕여왕 last Friday... what was I doing... oh yeah, I was just hanging out with my new friend, the MAYOR OF SEOUL!!"

Upon arriving home with a buzz, my next dilemma was what to do when one is in possession of a mandarin from the Mayor of Seoul's fruitbowl.

I decided to hand it over to one of our household's most discerning of fruit critics, whose favourite fruit just happens to be mandarin.

Here Baengy Baengy! Oh look Baengy, it's a mandarin... your favourite! 

It's 박원순시장님의 귤!*

*(Mayor Park's mandarin)

Baengy observed the fine details of the fruit, laying it out on her table, before deliberating on whether she should take a liberal or conservative approach to its consumption.

In the end, it was center-left and another victory for the moderates among us. The fruit of the mayor, it seemed, was delicious.

Overall it was a great evening with the mayor. I found him to be a friendly and sincere person, and someone seemingly capable of what must be a very complicated job.

Thanks go out to City Hall, TNM Media and Nanoomi, for inviting this young blogger out for an eye-opening experience.

Photo credits: TNM Media (mostly!)