Funny English #6

My time here in The Korea has been both burnished and brightened by grammarly rules bent, and others broken, courtesy of our enduring friends on the peninsula.

For those of you unacquainted with Funny English, it's a delightful documentation of instances of English that this young blogger finds amusing.

This happy message on a vending machine greets subway commuters every morning at Nakseongdae Station. 

Here at Lee's Korea Blog we wish all readers a feeling fine day, everyday.

The chefs work very hard in this restaurant. 

You can almost taste their efforts.

This enigmatic zen kōan continues to confound teams of monks in the Korean highlands.

Here in Seoul, we can cookies. But unfortunately we can't grammar too well.

As a person who considers myself somewhat internationalised, this chess set is essential for handling the world's inescapable globalisation.

One might be forgiven for thinking that a simple spell check could have picked up the errors in 'Seoul Metorpol itan Government'.
Before they carved it into a metal mold for manhole covers. 

And placed 4500 of them all over the city.

This old poster has been left in our building's elevator, and is written mostly in Korean hangeul. Fortunately for the non-hangeul readers out there, the event's name is spelled out phonetically in English.

One only needs to ask "How can I get to Cantata UBOOSASISA?"

Approximately half of my time at university is spent doing research. The other half is spent methodically deciphering translated official documents that I need to fill out.

Here's a note that I found on my desk one afternoon, left by our lovely admin staff. It was referring to an invoice problem for our office chairs.

This is our university mail client. Especially around lunch time, I like to send many Ham Messages.

There are many suspicious backronyms in the world of university student clubs that appear to contravene the purposes of choosing a backronym in the first place.

This one, SOCSOC, is one of the finest examples.

The popular K-blogger Roboseyo may be interested in a pizza that was named after him, from "Elnopim Pizza".

Snapped while on the move, deep in the cavernous batcaves of Sillim E-Mart's underground parking lot.

The politically correct term would be 'Parking Personless Office.'

The disposable cup industry in Korea contributes to approximately 20% of GDP. The remainder is composed of the Parking Personless Office industry and Robster Pizza delivery.

What we're looking at in this picture is the delectable image of fried chicken in the middle, with cherry tomatoes strewn across a picnic table in an idealistic vision of what will happen the moment such chicken is purchased for only 9,000 7,000 won.

Although I guess the 'Siandard Oil' box in the background is a simple spelling error, the more pertinent question would be "Who garnishes their fried chicken with black gold?"

Here's an example of an excellent, but terrible motto.

Found on the front cover of the KTX Magazine.

And this is what you wake up to if your baby daughters consume too many beans the night before.

To lead us out of this episode's Funny English is an amazing one-piece retailing for only W10,000 at our local Wondang markets. These days, who wouldn't want to be known as a Truck Furniture Maker?

The previous episode of Funny English is available here.

Have a feeling fine day!

Funny English #5

Things have been a little active in the Farrand household of late. Heather's pregnant stomach has expanded to new horizons of enormity that I previously thought only possible in cartoons. She's feeling fine and dutifully performing her stretching exercises each night. As our finest hour approaches with quickened pace, various aspects of normal life are quietening before what I can only imagine to be some kind of storm.

One of the more recent routines to stop was Heather's pregnant ballet classes. That's her in the white skirt. I woe my own immaturity, but nevertheless indulge in continuously seeing something comical about pregnant ladies doing ballet. Hopefully this kind of childishness will all clear up when I become a father.

For the meantime though, let's indulge in some funny English. For those of you new to this phenomena, Funny English is a recurring feature of this blog, attempting to catalogue examples of English in Korea that this young author finds amusing in some way.

This is a tin that you keep tissues in, for sale at our local D/C Mart.

I had at first thought the name 'Goog Frinds' to be an attempt to circumvent another company's trademark.

But on closer investigation found that they managed to get the title of their brand correct on the side. The little blurb manages to delve into new depths of linguistic absurdity.

Seems that trash is not the only thing that needs checking.

"It's so wonderful to be able to maintain your dreams."

Humble lessons from a basic pail.

This gift wrapping paper seems intended for animals with multiple hearts. That would include our cephalopod friends like the squid and octopus, as well as the hagfish (which has 5 hearts).

Who said seafood couldn't be romantic?

Designed by Germany, translated by Korea.

Blogged by Australia.

My name is Advertising.

Bad Advertising.

For those still opposed to GM Food, you may have been misled by the real meaning of the acronym.

One could be forgiven for assuming that the last vestiges of headhunting disappeared in remote archipelagos of the Pacific decades ago. But it's alive and well in the Gyodae area of Seoul.

A timely observation indeed. I have plans to buy this clock, after I save enough money to buy a HotSling.

And what is a HotSling, I hear you ask? Why, a HotSling is a handsfree device for holding babies, strapped to your chest. You can see a whole bunch of them right here. They seem handy for all the rockclimbing I intend to do. 

For past episodes of Funny English that you may have missed, they're here: #1, #2, #3, #4.

Enjoy! 

Hopefully I'll be able to post again soon.

Funny English #4

Our episodes of Funny English are not for the sole purpose of ridiculing other people's mistaken applications of ASCII characters. Nor are they here to further inflate our own ego by gloating at our language mastery, while others proverbially flail.

They're posted simply because of their remarkable ability to amuse.

If you attempt to translate the written Korean on this sign into English using Babelfish, it says "Goes to the soccer field route."

Smells like an updated algorithm.

Listed on this menu is the popular Korean pasta known as 'Meat Sauce Spaghetti.' Sound appetising? Back when I was an English teacher, one of my ice-breaker queries to the students was to ask about everyone's favourite food. More than one bifocaled, gap-toothed student declared to me "Tee-chaa! My favourite food... is... meat!"

But the more obvious offender in the photo above is the word Eatables. It reminds me of my Dad's repeated explanations of the meaning of the word 'Delicatessen' when we were young.

It means 'Delicate Eating.'

My Dad used to enjoy repetitively explaining it so many times that it has burned itself into my subconscious. If I'm ever to awake from a coma, I'm sure the first words I'll murmur will be 'Delicate..... eating....'

Whether or not you find this sign humourous depends on whether you've lived in Korea long enough.

From our good friends at Kwangdong Pharmaceuticals comes the Placenta Essence Mask.

Perplexing.

Please, English check before print the menu.

(It might cause the funny problem).

I've thought long and hard about the name of this shop in Uijeongbu.
Many times.

And I'm still stumped.

Fortunately the same mistake here was not repeated for the College of English Studies.

We are learn techology because we got edumcation from da skool.

This photo may or may not be from an 'eminent educational institution' here in Seoul.

Item number 7-12 here is distinct from 7-13 only in that it has a light hint of rotten taste. There are also pleasant aromas of abhorrant reflex.

This wasn't really a Konglish moment though, because it's from the updated menu at the Vietnamese Dieu Hien Quan in Ansan.

It's Vinglish, I think.

We snapped this beauty near the SNU subway station. Some of us were born to be wild. A lucky few were born to be king. 

And then there's the remainder...

And to cap off this episode of delightful applications of the English language, is the most ambitiously labeled paper cup in the Asia-Pacific region.

If I knew where they sold these, I'd buy myself a lifetime's supply.

Tomorrow evening I'm off to Ottawa for a month of research. I'll post an update after the jump.

For past episodes of Funny English that you may have missed, they're right here: #1, #2, #3.

Enjoy!

Funny English #3

Using a lot of photos can be a good blogging strategy. That's because your average Google-streaming first time reader has an attention span that is inversely proportional to mouse-wheel scroll. I once had a photography binge when I was an undergrad, but haven't given it any serious effort since then. If you want to see some quality photography, check out Robert Koehler's travel blog. Compared to him, I'm a just measly pocketcam blogger who gets by on 3.1 megapixel nonsense. But my trusty Canon Ixus allows me to conveniently snap things that I see when I'm on the move.

From which, a post like this one arises.

This is Part 3 of a series on funny uses of the English language in Korea. There are plenty of expressions that amuse and confuse in this country. The banner above refers to something known as 'Abfood of Australia.'

I lived in the Land Down Under for 22 years, which apparently wasn't long enough because I still don't know what it is.

While we saw that Mr Pizza has love for women, Seoul is just feeling a little friendly. It'll probably develop into friskiness soon.

And Backronym of the Year Award goes to... RYN! Wait a minute, it's Renovate Your Body Newly... so shouldn't that be RYBN?

Hmm, anyway... as Winston Churchill once allegedly said "This is the kind of English up with which I will not put."

Excessive consumption of the latter has a tendency to negate the former.

Go Getter - Korean toilet bowl cleaner. For lack of a more obscure name.

Me, Tarzan.

Tarzan go to Man Clinic. *beats chest*

I hear they serve peppermint tea and scones.

Fashion of Cry is a big show on TV here. Its title is not very good, due to Error of Big.

On our lab autoclave machine, the causing of bum will not be appreciated. Unless said bum is attractive.

In any case, do not touch.

And you needn't fear anything for your upcoming triple bypass. The highly qualified Dr Shim will ensure careful performance of the utmost standard of error-free susgery on you.

In our lab, we order X-ray fixer from a local company called Poo-hung.

The name reminded me of a comical incident we had with our supplier, Ms Choi, from a company called MoreBio. We had ordered 'stools' to sit on in the lab, but her English isn't very good, so I briefly mimed a seating motion. When she put the word into her electronic dictionary to find out what we were talking about, the only translation was 'human stool', as in faeces. She gave us a weird look and started scratching her head.

And to round out Funny English #3 is some interesting Korean instead. The large red text on this shop says that their cell phones are ddongkap, which means 'poo price'.

Without information ascertaining as to the species in question, I find this misleading because the price of manure can be as high as $800 a kilo.

Anyhow, enjoy your weekend everyone.