Wriggle One's Hips

We here at Lee's Korea Blog have never been shy of the catwalk. We've also been quite fond of dog walks, when the opportunity arises. No matter the flavour of walk you're into, this post is dedicated to educating our valued readers on some of the biggest names in the baby fashionverse.

One of the labels causing us the most excitement this year has got to be Wriggle One's Hips. This outstanding lineup from none other than the extraordinary designer Von Incognito is characterised by sophisticated chic motifs and minimalist pastels. You may notice that the four animals on the front of this piece are all facing rearward.

We noticed it too!

Hot on the heels of Wriggle One's Hips and demanding star attention is the exclusive upcoming haute couture label, Ducks are Good. We immediately fell in love with the loose silhouettes and summer palettes of this season's releases. Modeling this piece is one of the biggest bangs in fashion history, Big Baengy, who now meets all requirements of the Institute for Modeling Ethics (at least 15 months of age and weighs more than 8 kilos).

An irresistible combination: the latest Ducks are Good t-shirt, with matching Duckling pants and Apples jacket.

Pure genius!

Fruity Cutie makes its much anticipated return to Farrand Fashion week, after it's successful debut at last year's event held in the fashion hotzone of Living Room. This much-coveted label has released its hottest lineup inspired by Polish gypsies, who have been known to eat watermelons.

Unless you've been living under a rock and not paying attention to any of the biggest tabloids for over a week, chances are you've already heard of the Nameless Brand. Just to clarify, the brand itself isn't called 'nameless', but of course, is referred to by that name because there are no tags or branding present on their items. Is this perhaps a cheeky designer's nod toward the immaterialist views of Irish philosopher George Berkeley? We like to think so!

The floral print on the green pants has been executed perfectly. We sure hope they release it in adult sizes before next summer, or we'll have nothing to wear.

 

Whoever it was that first uttered the phrase "the night is young', most likely said it because they couldn't stop thinking about these pink pyjamas from Winnie the Pooh.

The wrap-around stylings and bold colours are a dead giveaway in identifying the designer's obvious penchant for samurai futurism.

This matching two-piece with chef's hat and apron brings hints of comic nostalgia to the catwalk, as we hilariously recall the outrageous mishap that occurred when two minor celebrities wore this exact same outfit to the 2008 Oscars. We remind our readers that such embarrassment can easily be avoided by employing your very own fashion consultant from LKB Fashionistas, quite a worthwhile investment considering the endless benefits to be had.

Another label subjected to much anticipation this year was Traditional Hanbok Inc., who did not fail to impress the A-list guests by again revealing their deft hand at couture-quality finishes.

Our photographers were out on the streets all week, busily catching up on the latest trends in celebrity fashion. Seen here is Ashley Farrand, fooling no-one as to her true identity while she attempted to shop anonymously at E-Mart in a light cosmopolitan summer blouse. Apparently she thought that her Michael Jackson-inspired sunglasses would hide her from our camera clicks. The fashion diva has got to do better than that to escape the radar of our shrewd photographers!

Having settled down from the plume of scandal surrounding her crying outburst in the Subway, we also spotted Ashley at Robert and Jisun's wedding. These photos by our undercover photographer had the critics unanimously raving throughout the fashionverse. It seems that with her sheer gravity of starpower, Ashley is single-handedly attempting to bring back the long-forgotten combination of mini-skirt, hoodie and balloon.

Here again we see Ashley hitting the streets of Gwanak-gu in plain view. Our offices were abuzz for days after receiving this photo, showing her choice of giraffe shirt and blue stretchy pants, a riot of colour and wit.

Rumor has it that she was needlessly obssessing over her choice of socks before venturing outside in this outfit. Our fashion analysts have concluded that it was a bold choice that seems to have paid off.

These latest paparazzi photos appear to have caught Ashley off-guard as she sits in a car with her third boyfriend in 3 months! We can't help but point out their matching feminine-masculine sandals, as Boyfriend Number 3 hurriedly tries to start the car and escape our camera flashes.

But not before we managed to snap this front-on beauty! It seems that Ashley has a thing for clean-shaven guys with strong arms. We noticed that the car also has a painting of a car on the bonnet, which is a very fitting reminder of the vehicle type. One thing that puzzles us though, is why there are two steering wheels. Is it a sign of their imminent parting-of-ways? We hope not!

And to Ashley we say, "Although your daddy doesn't approve of your new boyfriend, he says don't come home too late!"

Funny English #6

My time here in The Korea has been both burnished and brightened by grammarly rules bent, and others broken, courtesy of our enduring friends on the peninsula.

For those of you unacquainted with Funny English, it's a delightful documentation of instances of English that this young blogger finds amusing.

This happy message on a vending machine greets subway commuters every morning at Nakseongdae Station. 

Here at Lee's Korea Blog we wish all readers a feeling fine day, everyday.

The chefs work very hard in this restaurant. 

You can almost taste their efforts.

This enigmatic zen kōan continues to confound teams of monks in the Korean highlands.

Here in Seoul, we can cookies. But unfortunately we can't grammar too well.

As a person who considers myself somewhat internationalised, this chess set is essential for handling the world's inescapable globalisation.

One might be forgiven for thinking that a simple spell check could have picked up the errors in 'Seoul Metorpol itan Government'.
Before they carved it into a metal mold for manhole covers. 

And placed 4500 of them all over the city.

This old poster has been left in our building's elevator, and is written mostly in Korean hangeul. Fortunately for the non-hangeul readers out there, the event's name is spelled out phonetically in English.

One only needs to ask "How can I get to Cantata UBOOSASISA?"

Approximately half of my time at university is spent doing research. The other half is spent methodically deciphering translated official documents that I need to fill out.

Here's a note that I found on my desk one afternoon, left by our lovely admin staff. It was referring to an invoice problem for our office chairs.

This is our university mail client. Especially around lunch time, I like to send many Ham Messages.

There are many suspicious backronyms in the world of university student clubs that appear to contravene the purposes of choosing a backronym in the first place.

This one, SOCSOC, is one of the finest examples.

The popular K-blogger Roboseyo may be interested in a pizza that was named after him, from "Elnopim Pizza".

Snapped while on the move, deep in the cavernous batcaves of Sillim E-Mart's underground parking lot.

The politically correct term would be 'Parking Personless Office.'

The disposable cup industry in Korea contributes to approximately 20% of GDP. The remainder is composed of the Parking Personless Office industry and Robster Pizza delivery.

What we're looking at in this picture is the delectable image of fried chicken in the middle, with cherry tomatoes strewn across a picnic table in an idealistic vision of what will happen the moment such chicken is purchased for only 9,000 7,000 won.

Although I guess the 'Siandard Oil' box in the background is a simple spelling error, the more pertinent question would be "Who garnishes their fried chicken with black gold?"

Here's an example of an excellent, but terrible motto.

Found on the front cover of the KTX Magazine.

And this is what you wake up to if your baby daughters consume too many beans the night before.

To lead us out of this episode's Funny English is an amazing one-piece retailing for only W10,000 at our local Wondang markets. These days, who wouldn't want to be known as a Truck Furniture Maker?

The previous episode of Funny English is available here.

Have a feeling fine day!

Another Little Announcement

Heather is a happy 9-weeks pregnant with our second baby, who is going by the fetal name of Ga-Ga.

This photo was our first glimpse. We'll be expecting our newest little one in late March/early April next year.

The name Ga-Ga was chosen by Baengy, who is developing into quite a big Baengy indeed. Heather and I were both stumped on a placeholder name for our newest family member, after all, how can you top Big Baengy? 

After dispensing with suggestions including 'Small Baengy', 'Big Baengy 2' and 'Baengy of Reasonable Size', at dinner we turned it over to the original Baengy who was toddlering around the table. When we asked her what her sibling should be called, she simply stopped and said "Ga-Ga".

So, Ga-Ga, we very much look forward to meeting you in the new year.

How to Feed Babies

Blogcrastination 

noun.

The act or habit of, putting off or delaying blog posts.

Ex. He dearly loved to blog, yet his blogcrastination led to very sparse posting indeed.

Of late, this blog and I have come to an agreed framework of sorts. A roadmap for peace. A six-point plan or a four noes and one without.

Whatever one may like to call it, it's a way for us to coexist in peace together. The problem with blogs is that once an author endeavours to cultivate an online following, it feels somewhat uneasy to neglect posting for long periods of time, leaving your possibly still-existent readership base with a void once filled with your mediocre ramblings on life in the conventional lane. 

Thus a conflict ensues between the forces of time management and those derived from the imagined expectations of one's audience.

The agreed framework hinges upon the idea that as long as readers continue to jingle the sitemeter with daily visits, Lee's Korea Blog shall continue, but only as time permits. In other words, nothing changes. 

But it's official.

One of the other reasons that blogging has become sparse these days is because all of my photos are of Baengy. So if that's what you want to see, hey, you know where to come.

As someone somewhere famously once said,

"I have nothing to offer, except blood, toil, tears, sweat and Baengy photos."

As you may recall from biology class, babies require sunlight, air, water and nutritional sustenance in order to survive. While administration of the former three can be fairly straightforward, the proper feeding of babies can require years of practice.

For the average human baby who is busy building a bitsy burgeoning body, teeth are non-critical luxuries with a high calcium cost. With the elongation and strengthening of bones also in full swing, such valuable mineral resources become thinly spread.
Baengy hasn't developed molars yet, so she can chop things with her incisors, but she can't chew. To help her out, we do a bit of parental preparatory pseudo-chewing, which consists of us manually mushing Baengy Rice in a bowl with a spoon.

Baengy Rice is very much like normal rice, but Mrs Farrand adds more water and some other goodies like miniscule bits of tofu and vegetables. The result is a commendable concoction of pasty pebbles.

Now there are many ways to get food into a baby's mouth, but there are only a couple of ways to do it that are sustainable for a parent's mental health. You see, nearly every baby is fascinated with everything for Two Golden Minutes. The key to accomplishing tasks that are longer than two minutes in duration is to distract them long enough. Even if you manage to cram food into a baby's mouth after the two minutes have expired, if they're bored, they just dribble it out onto their clothes. That's why Baengy is holding a spaghetti jar lid in the photo above. I have become reliably confident in lids, most of which extend the Two Golden Minutes by an order of magnitude.

And because each baby will only allow a specified number of spoonfuls to enter their frontal crevasse in any one sitting, one needs to optimise the volume of food going in on each run. This necessitates paying attention to the architecture of the rice on the spoon, or as I like to call it, the rice-chitecture. You'll notice in the photo above that the amount of food is clearly suboptimal. One needs to really pack it on there more like a champion.

Here's one I prepared earlier.

Note the look of apprehension on Baengy's face, in full knowledge that an enormous dose of ricey goodness is coming her way.

This is after the spoon has been retrieved for reloading. If you're wondering what happened in the middle, just imagine an abstract blur of mouth, teeth and spoon.

This was one of our daughter's first experiences with eating barely solid food. The food wasn't hot, so I guess her expression of disdain was more reflective of the repulsion of consuming anything but milk.

A slight improvement occurred over the next few days. As babies learn to eat, parents learn the intricate art of feeding.

These days Baengy has learned all sorts of new tricks. She can spot her favourite foods by sight alone, imbibes fluid from an adult glass and has developed a screeching affinity for nuts and berries.

Her favourite food would probably be spaghetti and/or peaches. Both of which she manages to obliterate by squeezing through her hands and smearing onto surfaces within her general vicinity, like some kind of culinary graffiti.

We like this chicken noodle place near our house in the Nakseongdae area. They sell a massive chicken kalguksoo for W6,000, which by general rules of geometry would typically not be consumable by a single person alone.

The owner of the place is this halmoni, who always comes and sits with Baengy for a while, and often times carries her off triumphantly to tour the kitchen. This particular photo was taken back when Baengy was in the Chubby Checker phase of infantile development.

Now she's well into the Lanky Legs phase.

Last winter was six months ago, which certainly was a long time ago, but that is when we went to Cheongpyeong. Cheongpyeong is one hour east of Seoul, in Gapyeong county.

 

Every signpost in the photo above is pointing to a different pension. It's reminiscent of the crossroad intersection scene in that non-existent book, Alice in Pensionland. 

In Korea, a pension is not what retirees get by on, it's like a holiday house for rent.

We stayed for two nights in a pension complex called Over The Mountain. It was a nice place, but a more accurate name would have been 'At the End of a Dirt Road, Near a Mountain'.

Away from the busy roads and sloped roofing of regular Korea, we huddled in our cement cell blocks, warmed by combustion heating.

We ate a barbecue dinner pack, which was one of a few things orderable from the local store, the name of which was, fittingly, Store. 

The mountain air was crisp and punctuated by short bursts of profound realisation.

In the mountains of Cheongpyeong, all is possible.

Here's a frozen waterfall in the frozen Botanic Gardens of Cheongpyeong.

And here's Mrs Farrand near a frozen waterfall in the frozen Botanic Gardens of Cheongpyeong.

Baengy now holds the distinction of quite possibly being the only Korean-Australian baby to have ever slept through an entire hike through Cheongpyeong's Frozen Botanical Garden.

All in all, we rather enjoyed our trip to Gapyeong county. We also enjoyed the transition back to normal civilisation, facilitated by a cup of boiled water seasoned with powdered instant coffee. It was delicious.

Here's Baengy and Heather checking out the newest kid on the block, Anthony's daughter Khalisi. She was born with a full head of hair, which is a source of envy in the world of babies.

Khalisi is around 8 months old now and growing up fine. We expect that she and Baengy will get along like a house on fire.
Right before this photo was taken, Khalisi informed me that she is a fervent reader of Lee's Korea Blog and has been dismayed at the recent lack of posting.

Hopefully there won't be too much blogcrastination before the next one. 

See you soon!